Yes, it is psychological. And you are not alone. There are many people including women who dislike children immensely.
Little kids are needy, messy, and noisy. They don’t color inside the lines of life. They risk and create anxiety. Trying to control them is frustrating and time consuming. For some, very costly financially. They’re not very easy to maintain so drawdown on resources immensely.
These days too we find parents who are raising brats because they either won’t discipline them or they’ve overindulged them so much they aren’t socialized. Screaming, running kids in restaurants and stores are no fun. But it’s the parents who bear the responsibility, not the unruly children. And it’s not to say parents with autistic or mental disorders aren’t doing the best they can.
When we tunnel down into the vault of motivations and yearnings, we always find glitches in upbringing. Yours may be negative but others are from non-exposure. Too much time with rational, socially appropriate adults can make children look like an abomination. The helter-skelter style of kids emotions going any-which-way with no rhyme or reason, feels out of control for a lot of people.
But mostly we find the adult doesn’t accept the child they were themselves when young and that is projected easily onto children now. Their early life had grief in it and it’s not a time cherished. Seeing children reminds them of that vulnerability and criticism. They were weak and susceptible to abuse.
Many just never felt accepted. Their original care givers expected them to be what they weren’t. So the program is “never good enough.” The child was seen as incompetent. They had some major failing or problem which could not be overcome. That feeling is still live inside them. Children reflect that disgust. They see through the critics eyes, not their own.
That child sits in a vault, deep in their hearts and stuck in time. It carries the baggage and scars of abuse. If it is accessed and aknowledged, all that grief comes with it. Children can trigger that through empathy. It can be very difficult to manage once out so not triggering it becomes one of their control needs.
If you want it to change, you’ll have to first learn to accept that ghost child which still resides inside you. You must find a way to deal with the old events where being victimized or abandoned is not re-experienced.
The heart inside us is gold as they say. Compassionate, sweet, comforting, empathetic and welcoming are what all children start out with. We have a tendency to go toward the oppressed and weak. There is something charming about watching children be. It nurtures our soul to see their experience.
For you to be where you describe, you’re missing out. That isn’t to say you have to like kids. It’s just a part of a joy of life has been ruined for you and you flagged it. It’s a loss of part of your humanity. It’s not normal but people live their lives perfectly fine without it.
Here is a little ditty from the movie Popeye (1980)
Lyrics from the soundtrack album.
I am poppa to no male, nor no female child…that no court could prove otherwise! And certainly not the likes of no skinnipated, sissipated, frump like you.
Give ’em everythin’ they want, and what do you gets in return? Nuttin!-Nuttin!
Nuttin! But heartache,-heartache, sadness, and misery! And a bad time once in a while when you try ta give ’em a bath, and they don’t want it! And another bad time when you wanna do somethin’ that you really wanna do, but all they wanna do, is know what you wanna do!
Bless their little hearts; if they were really made outta gold, I’d like ta sell ’em on the open marketplace, and make me a fortune!
Kids! They don’t know what they’re doin’. Kids! Dad-blast ’em, they’re gonna lead ya to ruin! They cry at you when they’re young, they yell at ya when they’re older, they borrow from ya when they’re middle-aged, and they leave ya alone to die–without even payin’ ya back!
Children! Pooey! Give ’em everythin’ they want, and what do ya get back in return? You get nothin’!
Why they’re just smaller versions of us, ya know, and I’m not so crazy about me in the first place–so why would I want onna them? I ask ya…Children!
Ah, children. Sure they’re soft, they’re cuddly, they’re friendly when they wanna be. They know how ta smile, and get what they want; but that’s not enough, if you know what I mean–and I think ya know what I mean. Cuz I’m talkin’ about kids.
Phooey! Phooey on alla them! Why, my greatest hope in life is that someday, onna them might grow up and get married, so they can have children!
Oh, they’re okay for some people I guesses, but then again, some people’s children–bleh! Lock up the little moppetites!
Try feedin’ one at three in the mornin’, you’ll see what I mean, if you know what I mean, I hope you know what I mean, cuz I sure know what I mean.
I think that’s why I don’t like ’em very much. Because you pour your heart out to ’em, you give ’em everythin’ they want: give ’em candy, and a lotta toys, and what do ya get back? You get a lotta noise! “Na-na-na-na-na-na!”
I’m through with children, I’m through with kids, there ain’t nothin I’m never gonna do about it!
First of all, they should be born when they’re 21. That way they can vote right away, which is what they already wanted to do, since the minute they got here.
They wanna run things, they wanna run everythin’! They wanna run the world, and that’s what they’re gonna do someday. They ain’t gonna stop until its called “The Planet of the Little Moppetites”!